What does 'sex positive' really mean?
Publicado: 2023-06-07 11:12:53
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You've probably seen the term "sex-positive" with trendy hashtags like #FreeTheNipple, #EffYourBeautyStandards and #SexualHealthIsHealth. But far more than blatant nudity, threesomes and regular STD tests, sexual positivity is a way of being that replaces shame with pleasure and judgment with freedom.
Which is?
More broadly, sexual positivity says that sex can be a positive thing in a person's life. More than just that, sexual positivity is the idea that people should have the space to incorporate, explore and learn about sexuality and gender without judgment or shame.
Is it possible to be “sex-negative”?
Yes, it's possible. In fact, it's safe to say that unless you're actively working to become sexually positive, you're sexually negative. Don't take it personally, though. It's not you, exactly, it's society. Sexual negativity is ingrained in the way our entire society operates.
Sexual negativity is telling girls to put on more clothes, even on the hottest day, before they leave the house. It's a warning to parents to breastfeed in public, even though that's what breasts were made for. Other examples of sexual negativity include:
- violence against sex workers, trans women and femmes;
- abstinence-only sex education and sex education that teaches only about reproductive sex;
- purity pacts;
- slut-shaming and victim-blaming;
- the “good girl” versus “bad girl” trope.
Sexual negativity assumes that human sexuality is inherently dirty, dangerous, disgusting, unnatural, uncontrollable, harmful, risky.
Do you have to have sex to be sexually positive?
Not. You don't have to have sex to be sex positive. But you have to genuinely believe that other people can have sex any way they want with whoever they want, as long as consent is involved.
How do you become sexually positive?
Full transparency, becoming sex positive takes patience, time, commitment and bravery. It's hard work but it's work worth doing. It requires a commitment to the practice of anti-oppressive philosophies and practices. The first step is realizing every time you're not being sexually positive – probably because you grew up in a sexually negative culture.
